Lets Talk About Divorce/Relationships

Hi I have recently been talking with a few people about their relationships, some have lead to divorce.  Some of these people were still heart broken as they “had know idea” of what their partner was thinking, until it was “too late”.

I for one do not think that any thing is too late – until it is! Death is pretty final, right?  But some of these heart broken people have gone on to new relationships, some are still struggling, why?  Unresolved grief.  Some of these people had not identified that they had had a “loss” in the sense that they did not recognise that they were grieving! Loss of trust, loss of hopes, dreams and expectations of their future together.

Some carry the guilt of making the decision to end the relationship, and in some cases then rushed into new relationships (especially if their new partner was the reason for the break-up of the previous relationship) without first healing themselves.

To anyone with knowledge of The Grief Recovery Method, it would be apparent that these people have been taught to “replace the loss” and had not finished processing their loss.  This is where the Grief Recovery Method will help you with those relationships, to find peace leading to closure.  After that, should you need to “clean up” your current relationship, you can do the process again with your relationship with your new partner.

Think about this, if you are ‘still angry’ with your old partner – and they have moved on, who is that affecting?  How is that impacting on your health?  Are you sleeping? You may have had well meaning friends saying “Oh there is plenty more fish in the sea”.  These people have learned to replace the losses in their lives.  They want to support you and think this will help ease your pain, but it will not.  Why?  Because it was your heart that was broken, not your head!

Life in fear of your feelings no more, reach out to someone and work on having closure so that you can be at peace.  Give it time??? Time is not a healer – action is!  If you had a puncture, would you sit in front of the wheel saying give it time – the air will go back in!  I’ve put a plaster on the hole!

In the Grief Recovery Method, you are taken through steps to understand how you feel and have been taught in respect of loss.  We are taught how to “acquire” things but not what to do if they are then lost.

I am really enjoying seeing these people have their light bulb moments, healing their hearts and finding peace. Of course the effect of immediate family members can also be healed when doing this work.

This is an extract from a recent feedback sheet.

Di has helped me and my family regain our closeness and made me realise that I am only responsible for making myself happy!

Di showed me that issues in my past can affect my present and future and helped me to address things that I didn’t think were causing me pain.  Thank you for helping bring our family back together..

I love my JOB!  Can’t really call it that though – I have too much fun helping people create their own peace.

 

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