Living Life ‘The Parky’ Way
A widows journey
Hi, my name is Diane Parker I am a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnotherapy, Motivational Life Coach and Mindfulness Coach. In July 2017 I became a Grief Recovery Specialist.
All of what I have done as a career has been due mainly to the amazing family that I have. Never have I needed to use the techniques I teach to others, on myself so much as I have had to this last 16 months.
Having looked on the internet for some kind of “chat” or “support”, all I found was courses to become – in this case a bereavement councillor.
After a weekend course with Dr David Hamilton on “I heart me” I was fortunately to have a chat with David at the end. He was so kind and I felt inspired to take action.
I will put headings to this article so that you might find what you need for you right now.
In July 2016, my husband Andrew passed away. He had bravely fought for his time with us, and so I can feel no anger at him passing, but disappointment that after all that ‘hard work’ that we had endured and all his medical team were doing, that our time was to run out in this physical plane.
The medical team around him were absolutely amazing. Some of which I ended up consoling when he passed. To me, that means so very much, of what they thought of him and their dedication to what they do.
For a short while I would go between sorting out what I had to do next and breaking down. At this point I would take myself off to lie down. My head would feel fuzzy and I would become very tired. A sleep for 1 to 2 hours would help me then cope with the next “thing”. I can reflect now that what was actually happening to cause this fuzzy feeling in my head was the neuro plasticity of my brain trying to make new connections as I was trying to cope with the shock and loss.
I had and still have some amazing people around me who supported me. My husband died in Liverpool, we live on the Isle of Man. My friend and lawyer had advised me not to “run back” to the Isle of Man straight away as there was a lot of paperwork to be done. I would only have to return. Most people I know who have had to sort funerals out have done so within a week or so. Because of having Andrew transported back, this all took a little longer. Some were saying how awful it was for me, and our boys, but in a strange way, it gave us some space between the shock of him passing, and all of us returning to the Island with time to sort out the funeral.
At that time, reflecting back, I think I was coping in a “different” space to everyone. I know it was most likely shock, but I was somehow coping and supporting others. Comforting and sharing their tears. I can remember having my girlfriends around and they were helping me select songs for the church. I put one on called “I knew you before I met you” by Savage Garden and when I turned around, they were all crying buckets…..so I said “not that one then!” You do go from extremes. I would go and take our dog out on our gator while she was running around, I would be breaking my heart.
I don’t know where you are right now, but wherever it is, then know that it is just right for you. That is what is important.
As my boys live in a house down our road, they were close but in the quiet moments the reality of being on my own started to sink in. And to be fair, I am still adjusting. There are no time limits on any of this. Take that pressure off yourself right now. Most friends that have had divorces have all said that it takes around 2 years to get used to being on your own. I am unsure if I ever will “get used to it”.
It can be very easy to say to yourself, I’ll stay in bed today, or what do I need to get up for? Fortunately, I have a wonderful 4 legged companion, Ruby. If was ‘giving in’ and sobbing my heart out, she would bark at me…..until I stopped. If I found myself about ‘to go’, I would take myself off to the bathroom! I had a chat with myself, and said that I had two choices…I could give in to what I know would have easily turned into depression, or I can make the decision to get up and get on with the amount of issues that come with losing a loved one.
A lot of medical people misdiagnose grief for depression. It is your heart that is broken, not your head. Although in some cases a mild anti-depressant has been used to help the brain stimulate serotonin, our natural happy chemicals.
I can choose to wallow in self pity or build on the love that I had and feel, still do with an amazing man. My friends say how inspirational I am, but I certainly don’t feel that way. I am just doing what my Ironman training taught me, and putting one foot in front of another to keep going….
That is all you can really do, right? Especially if like me you have others relying on you.
I knew what Andrew wanted going into the church, and I do wish we had discussed in more depth the other things that he would have liked. He wanted ‘Abide with Me’ from the 2012 games. Then I started thinking about his life, especially in these last 3 years and decided that he would go to the Church on the back of a tractor and trailer. I gave the instruction that there was to be no dark colours, only bright colours please. I had also decided to create an Arboretum in his memory in our Glen. We had always been planning to do this as part of his Mum and Dad ashes are already there. In light of this I asked for donations of flowers/bushes or to the Haemophilia Society c/o our lawyer.
I thought I would get some negative feedback from the Vicar, but I didn’t, not one bit. He was wonderfully supportive. I also asked a very dear friend of mine Mark Payne if he would conduct the service, as he had got to know Andrew during these past years, personally. He agreed. Mark is currently going through “Vicar School” and I had met him working in The Children’s Centre.
Mark was on his course when Andrew passed away and was concerned that he would not be back in time. However, Mark didn’t know that he was coming from Liverpool and they only transport bodies and organs on Tuesdays! This meant that there was plenty of time, and no doubt Andrew would make sure that this was arranged. Mark dutifully popped around to see me and go through the service explaining that he would be wearing a Kasicstan a white monk looking outfit. I laugh and said that it was a good job he had told me that as I would have burst out laughing seeing that without knowing.
I had my son James’s friend sort out the music system and songs. I wrote the eulogy and asked James’s girlfriend, Mollie, to read this at the service. Being a presenter, I felt I should but my sister-in-law, Gill said no. After the church service, we were to go to the crematorium. I wanted the tractor then, but Gill said no again….on the grounds that there would be no food left when we got back from Douglas!
Gill and her husband Francis kindly hosted the event in their garden in a marquee, right opposite the Church. Again, angels in the right places, my friend Margaret Swindlehurst arranged for that to be put up in support of Andrew’s service to the Santon Commissioners by our Civil Defence service.
All in place the day arrived. We knew it was going to be tough, but there is something special about being married to Andrew. I would say “live is never dull, married to you” and his funeral was to be the same!
From our house to the Church went well. The tractor and trailer arrived with Andrew in place and hay bales around, we set off up the road following him in the traditional black car. There is a steep hill before the church, so everyone was watching to see if his coffin slipped! Passing towards the church, we could see our dear friends Julie and Brian’s front lawn littered with cars! Outside the church stood my family, the Vicar James and Mark along with the other pole bearers.
As we approached I noticed the Vicar James and Mark “having a chat” and was about to head to them when the funeral director intercepted me. They can’t carry Andrew in as the aisle is too small. “oh” I replied taking a deep breath in….but he quickly said “they can wheel him in!”
Now James and Mark are approaching me. “Diane”, Mark said, “There is no music”. “What” I replied, as I turned to son James. “Don’t look at me Mum, I haven’t got the music”. The vicar is now trying to think quickly of what can be done. I said “Don’t worry we can go down and get the ipads.”(our house is really close). My friend Steph Prince was near and came to me to find out what was going on. (Steph was taking photos). I asked Steph to pop back home and collect the ipads. Mollie gave Steph her keys and Steph headed for the car parked on Gill’s drive.
Now time is ticking on, and Matt, James’s musical friend appeared to ask what was the delay. We explained that there was no music…it was on the ipads. Matt, looking puzzled said, “I’ve got the music on my iphone!”
I turn to my sisters and shouted could one of them go and tell Steph. They both just looked at each other, asking “who was Steph”. I am now take off running towards the said car park to intercept Steph! I approached the car, banged on the window “it’s ok, they have found the music”, and as I turned I was greeted with a vision I will remember for the rest of my life. Here is Mark, running towards me in full white monk gear! You know when you have one of those moments where you stifle bursting into laughter. I later found out that someone had said “Diane’s done a runner”.
I mean really, you want to go through this as gracefully as you can. But I missed taking in looking at the tractor and trailer, seeing him loaded onto the wheels to be guided in and now running back to the rest of the “funeral party” I actually said “right, as we were”…. What a sight it must have been watching Mark run after me! But that is just typical of my life with Andrew. Not too many things went according to plan.
Walking towards the Church, I am listening, straining to hear the music. The Church and surrounding yard is full of people. I am making eye contact and thanking them. Even Andrew’s GP was there, who was actually signed off sick herself, stood there to say good bye, that really broke my heart. She has been our rock along the years of medical treatments, so touched that she came along.
As we went into the Church I could just hear the music when it changed to “Sweet Child of Mine”. Our lawyer friend Mark and his wife Joyce were in the Vicars cupboard under the stairs, you know, where they keep the wine! They looked at each other and thought, that’s an unusual song to have but…it was the funeral directors phone!
You never know why things “happen” when they do, but we are a family who have just accepted that things are as they should be, even sad moments like this. It turns out that both of my sons just looked at each other in recognition….this was the song that James had on his phone when his Dad called him.
The rest of the service went really well, I am pleased to say. Friends, all avoiding eye contact with me… “to help them to keep their shit” together. Even Mark, conducting the service, mentioned to a friend that he could not look at me.
Now we are walking back out of the church. The boys are helping with Andrew’s brothers in law, Francis and Alan, nephew Stephen and Andrew’s school friend Robert to turn the coffin around in a small area to be wheeled out. During this process Robert told me that “The bastard got the last word”, pointing to the dent in his shoe where the wheel impression from the trolley, still remained.
As we approached the cars for the second leg of this journey, I am being hugged by my old school friend Val and a few family members….when I can see the Vicar James talking with Mark. As I moved to get in the car, Mark came forward and hugged me. Now in this grip he is telling me that “the music is not working at the crematorium”. I said, you have got to be joking”. Mark replied “I know, especially when we tested this before I left yesterday”. Remember we are still hugging at this point. I now loose the plot a bit and start laughing really hard….from the back, it must have looked like I was breaking down. Mindful now of how that looked, I ‘broke the hold and with his arm still around me Mark asked what the songs were!
I told him and Mark assured me that they would be ready for when we arrived. Now, the rest of my family have gathered to find out what is wrong. Mollie is taken with my parents in their car, and we start the journey to the crematorium….really slowly.
Mark now uses this experience when he is now conducting funerals as he is now a Vicar, but sadly not on the Isle of Man.
Its tradition in our family, that on the way to these places we drink brandy and eat Galaxy. Gill forgot the Galaxy! Well, that is typical with the way that this day was shaping up! We are travelling along and my niece and nephew are making statements like “I’m going to do the triathlon in Uncle Andrew’s name” etc. (Now the entries are open, I will have to remind them of that!)
We arrive at the Crematorium, and realise that we are a car missing….my parents! I ran to use the toilet, and they were still not there. 10 minutes later, they arrive. They had in hand the two ipads with the songs on! You know, Just in case!
Arriving back Gill’s people were tucking into the buffet as instructed to do so before we arrived. We knew that quite a few were coming in their lunch hour. I am now really hungry and trying hard to get to the food……but I am being hugged all the way. Which of course is lovely that so many people turned up, stayed around to say, “hey, I care”. Thanking people who have travelled from the UK to be with us was also extremely touching.
Eventually, Steph brought food to me. I would have been lost without her. Mindful of people wanting to leave, I picked up the mic and thanked everyone on behalf of my family for coming, making a joke that “I had the mic and there was nothing that Andrew could do about it”! That got a laugh, as they know what he would have been like. I asked them to share their stories, rather than in small groups so we can all find out more about him…but alas the only one to do this was James, reminiscing of when he had taken his first clients in the gym….Andrew received a message from the client stating that he was “worse than Andrew, a sadist, and that he could not move his limbs”. Andrew turned to James and said “son, I could not be more proud”. It has to be said that we partied into the evening with our very closest friends. Laughing and crying, sharing memories, making plans for more. Andrew would have loved the event, and I hope the way he arrived to church.
Our family ethos has always been about living live, even the dark moments; we will find a way to pour in some light. Moments are precious, memories are precious and we will squeeze out of each moment of each day, as many of them that we can. Our family motto is to have fun in all that we do.
Things to consider:
You may have already done this, but I mistakenly thought that if you had a Will, then that was legal and everything else would just happen. Fortunately, Mark our Lawyer friend (Long & Humphrey) took charge and although we do not have death duties on the Isle of Man, we do have a probate fee. Because my husband had inherited a house and land which was in his name only, to transfer this into the boys name ie release his assets, the amount of £7,000 was due.
Annoyingly we had already been discussing moving the properties to the boys as we were planning our move into a dwelling to be renovated as our “retirement” home. We said a long time ago that it would be silly for the boys to have to go and get another big house and mortgage, when we already have two. The boys were more than happy with this, and they would fund the renovation project.
What a shame we had not taken action. Well, you always assume that you will have plenty of time, don’t you?
The other things to consider are your bank accounts. In particular, the statement’s for those accounts’s only your partner’s name. Mark told me to go through Andrew’s statements and see what standing orders were to come out. Except, Andrew did not keep hard copies of his statements; he had opted for “on line and no statements”. Even pointing this out to the bank manager I was dealing with, you could see him thinking, gosh I do that very thing. This means that you have to wait until probate has been issued. By then, you already know as they start contacting you! Thankfully, everyone was amazing and completely understanding, but, it all could have been avoided.
Obviously, make sure that you have life insurance and look at critical illness. For Andrew and his illness, this was not to be, but if you haven’t got any, get it covered. It will help your family.
And do discuss the somewhat awkward subject of the funeral. Once these things are done, you can get on with life knowing that you know what the other should want.
The Months That Followed
We had bigger issues to deal with such as Cows! And Sheep! Fortunately we had some great friends who all came to our aid and helped mainly my sister in law Gill to sort them out. They were kind enough to leave me and just talk through any issues.
This was such a big emotional strain for Gill as this was not only her last “immediate” family, having her Mum and Dad gone, now her brother….and their cows. It was a very sad time.
The trouble is that you think (especially as a therapist) that you know what you should be doing and even how to change your state from the sadness. The obvious thing is that there is no time on grief, that things are as they should be as you are still processing what has happened. In our case we had been married for 31 years; to me now finding myself being on my own for the first time – ever. How to start even trying to “sort” that out in my head was impossible. Because of mindfulness, I knew physically that I did not want to stay feeling like I was, but just seemed to lack the energy to do anything about it. This is not an unusual state for you to find yourself in, it’s natural. It’s a kind of numbness.
I had a foot injury from the month before diagnosis of Andrew’s illness, which I had treated myself but it had not recovered. In order to start feeling better, I knew I had to exercise. To exercise, I needed my foot to be better. So I made contact with our physiotherapist, Cath Davies and started working on it. While I felt in this “limbo” at least I could be working towards being able to run, when I came out the other side. Cath has been an amazing support to me and I can never thank her enough.
While things settle down and they do, you have to just take each moment as it comes. Practising mindfulness helped a lot. It is what is happening here and now that matters. As I have taught many a person, your decisions today are what determine your future. I have the choice to live in sadness or build on the love that I knew, that I know and breathe. I can tell you know as I write the majority of my body feels very relaxed but in the centre of my heart, I feel very heavy. In the weeks that follow, I will start to release this, I know. I also know that this takes courage. I take responsibility for my state – I do not blame anyone for my situation, or myself. I do not shame anyone for my situation or anyone else….and I do not justify my state to anyone else or myself. If I am having a “Moment of deep grief” I acknowledge this, have it and move on. Remember, “This too shall pass”. It key is not to be in that place too long. It will keep you stuck for a long time, if you choose to go there. I have my moment and then do something else, like shake it off or clap my hands, phone a friend, go for a walk do something to help you lighten your spirit. Watch something funny on the tv. In NLP terms we call this ‘breaking state’. Not keeping someone in the same emotional state for too long.
It is at this point that I decided to start looking on the internet for some help, guidance that I could take and use, to apply to my situation. I could not find what I was looking for. You see, I did not want to be kept in this “place” feeling like this, I wanted to start feeling like me again. A friend said, you have the tools, just apply them. I turned to her and said, each day I make the decision to get up and make the best of that day. That is all I can do at this time. I truly believe that, and I am still doing that. I do not think that my life will get better without Andrew in it physically, but I am spiritual. I do believe that his spirit will be with me each and every day. I do believe and allow days of laughter, happiness and joy, such as being told that I am going to be a grandparent for the first time. We have had a long battle with various health problems with Andrew but we have always made the best of each and every day, and I will continue to do this. I will live my life The Parky Way.
Here are some tips for changing your state.
Move. Yes, it’s simple but effective. As with the adrenaline boosts we receive in flight fight or freeze, we can use this to help change our state from “stuck” to “unstuck” by simply moving.
Dance, move from one foot to the other clapping your hands, listening to your favourite music and look up.
Did you know that it is hard to cry if you are looking up? Keep looking up for as long as you need.
Once you have moved from your “difficult state” you might want to gather yourself again, especially if people are around you.
Try “spinning”. Take a moment and feel the way in which your energy is travelling around your body. Usually, this is going in a circular motion from stomach, back, head/chest, back to stomach and around it goes again. Notice this feeling, this energy and give it a colour. It does not matter what colour and with each issue, this will differ, a colour is important, what colour is not. Take a deep breath in and blow that energy/feel with colour out of you and see it spinning in front of you. Now, stop it spinning and start it spinning in a different direction, and give it another colour. Remember, change the colour, but what colour is not important. Now, bring this near to you, deep breath in and spin this energy and colour in and all the way down to your feet if necessary, keep it going. And you will find that you are calming down.
Practising this often will help you, believe me. I know.
We have been called to Liverpool to see a Liver Specialty Team regarding Andrew’s recent CT scan. Our friend who looked at the scan said that there were a few lesions on his liver but nothing that was going to kill him. Andrew had taken great comfort from this and we had convinced ourselves that the team were going to discuss how to remove them.
Andrew got the call on the Monday and we were on the plane first thing Tuesday. One thing that Andrew could not have coped with was waiting around for a week for an appointment.
We got into the room, introduced to quite a number of people, one of which was the surgeon Dr Tim Cross and Kev Patterson, his Speciality Nurse. There was also a lovely lady we got to call Ali as the correct pronunciation of her name was not going to happen!
We were sat down and Tim asked how Andrew was. Concerned he replied, and it depends on what you’re going to say. A laugh was shared, then Tim took a piece of paper and started to draw a liver. He divided this into three parts. He said, this part is curable, this part is treatable, this part is palliative. At the moment you are here….pointing with his pen to a line he had drawn between curable and palliative. I looked at the Dr and said, are you telling me that he has got cancer?
The Dr took a jolt back in his chair and looked at me and said, “yes”. Like, how do you not know this. As I sat there, I started to process this as he is explaining to Andrew that they want to start on him as soon as possible to get him more into the treatable section in order that he can have a transplant.
I felt a surge of energy coming up my body and I knew I had to move quickly or I was going to break down in front of these people that I had just met. (good old Adrenaline – fight and flight chemicals)
I stood up and said, I have to leave a minute, rushing out of the door, quickly followed by Ali. Once outside I started the spinning technique. I had to sort myself out to get back into the room to be there to support Andrew.
This is where other people’s expectations of what you should be doing or what they think you need differ. Do not get me wrong, I know that they all had the best intensions, but had I allowed myself to go “there in that space” I would not have been in the place I needed to be for Andrew. I had one nurse rubbing my back saying its an awful shock, (anchoring the emotion) isn’t it while another was trying to get me into another room for the traditional answer to everything, the good old British cup of tea (distracting in a different way from the shock or sense of potential loss)!
I politely said, just give me a moment and a hanky as I continued to do the spinning technique. Nose wiped, I returned into the room, announced, ok, back in the room, now what do we need to do to start Andrew’s treatment.
Andrew told me that the Dr had asked him if I would be alright…He replied, “yes fine, she deals with people like that all the time, she’ll be fine”.
So practise the spinning technique, it really does work. Scientifically of course, you breathing in calms down the fight flight freeze responses and instruct the body to relax through the endocrine system.
The months that followed:
I can tell you that it has been hard, I have had to work at my techniques on myself. I found it hard to think of the future. I knew that there would be one, just felt stuck. I attended to the Arboretum and that helped me a lot. Ruby our dog, has been an amazing friend – along with my human ones. In the meantime, my sister Pauline was diagnosed with melanoma. She had had this disease 3 years ago, but sadly it had returned and was in her lymph nodes. I knew that that was not good news and told my mum (who was being a mum and only listening to what she wanted to hear from the medical profession – Pauline was slightly autistic so not really taking in the information given) so I went with them.
It was hard to hear and deal with so soon after losing Andrew. I found the things that my mother said to me quite hurtful, but my training told me that she was lacking in the understanding of the process and was not aware of her words. I attended the hospital with Pauline and advised the nurse in charge of what Pauline’s personality was like which helped her a lot. I became her point of call and she mine in the later months of Pauline’s life. Pauline has two small children and is divorced so all of this has been extremely hard for the family. I knew from the nurse’s face that all was not good for Pauline, but the rest of the family of course hoped that something would happen. I said for them to just take one day at a time and not worry about the future as that robs you of the moments you are present in and memories that you want to create.
In the meantime, I told my colleague Dianne Lewis that I was still feeling “stuck” and could not shake this feeling off. At that time, nor could I give it a name – other than numbness. This was May 2017. Di has been my rock for many years and guide, from meeting at the NLP course in 2004. Di produced a course. We need to do this course. Di herself is facing a family member with illness and her hubby had had a quadruple heart bypass when Andrew was diagnosed with Cancer! The course was The Grief Recovery Method.
I highly recommend that you find one close to you. I could see a lot of NLP traits in the programme by reframing, looking at language and how that is interpreted, including timeline methods. All set out as an educational programme rather than therapeutic one, but I certainly found it to be extremely therapeutic.
It seems obvious now, but it was my “hopes, dreams and expectations” that was my “numbness”. Andrew and I felt like we had been given a window of hope because after the liver transplant, he would have no longer been a haemophilia or have this disease. It seemed that we were offered a miracle which was sadly taken away from us. My grief was stuck in “the future that we had planned” and I had to say “goodbye” to it.
When you do the training, you have to be honest with yourself to get the best of any of this kind of course. I did just that and followed the process, and said goodbye. The pain of that was as strong as the day I stood beside his body and said goodbye to him. I went to the toilets because I knew what was coming…..the crying and pain would be hard. I do not advocate grieving alone at all. I had others around me who were working on their own grief and I did not want to stop them – when I let go.
You can purchase this book and others from Amerzon or The Grief Recovery Method UK site. They also have books to help guide you through helping Children through grief or helping with the loss of a pet. The programme is laid out in the book for you to follow, but I highly recommend you find a group or a Grief Recovery Specialist near you.
I am so grateful for having found this course, because it help me prepare my family for Pauline’s departure. Especially in how you should think and use your language around the children. My family started also to realise what I had been though – bizarrely and made reference to it as Pauline declined. People only process at their own rate. I am grateful that the Grief Recovery Method helped me to feel stronger to help Pauline and be there for her at her end of life.
During all of this, my granddaughter Nell was born. A little light – in all the sadness around us at that time. We are continuing to create family moments following the Parky lifestyle. I took them to Centre Parcs in November 2017. This is where we had had our last family holiday – now here I was on my own, with my sons their partners and Nell. Change continues no matter what we ourselves do. We have choices. On the holiday I was feeling good for most of it with one day of sadness. I really miss my husband. And sometimes change happens just a bit too quickly – it is good to just take a moment, feel the grief, let it go with tears of sadness and take a deep breath. This too shall pass.
Creating A New Home and Future.
In January 2018 I started to find the strength in me to carry on with a renovation of The Granary, which Andrew and I wanted to make into our retirement home. This would free up our home to let our son live in. As you would have read above, James is already in this home with his partner Mollie and baby Nell.
You cannot get mortgages to do renovations any more. The property has to be in a condition to live in. It certainly was not! I found one person who had an investment company, which eventually lead me to another via my lawyer. The investor asked why it had taken so long, (as this project was supposed to be started in 2012) When I explained the amount of close family lost and our difficulties during that time, and his wife having met my late husband, they almost wanted to adopt me! It felt good to have that support and share his experience of property development.
I had also had a visit with a local financial advisor about the mortgage situation, so that is lined up to start looking into once the project is complete. For the main part, the project and sorting this out has given me something different to focus on during these last few months. Our contractor has been amazing and supporting me during this process. He had already done some work for Andrew and myself, so I know that I am in good hands.
I still feel so sad that Andrew is not beside me while I sort this project out, but I do talk openly to him when I am trying to think things through. Fortunately for me, we had both discussed how we wanted The Granary to look before he died. I have that to build on now.
In April of this year, actually my wedding anniversary, I landed in Sydney Australia. Finally, with my son Robert and his lovely girlfriend Anna, I had arrived. I have a dear friend out in Australia who wanted me and Andrew to come out so many times. After he passed away, Mo had been here to see her mum, and so the promise made a year earlier had been kept. It’s a long way away! Of course we had to also tie this in with an Ironman event and so Robert did his 8th Ironman. We had also come across this company called Isagenix and the representative was there in Port Macquarie to see Rob finish. The products certainly did help him. They have also helped me too.
One thing about being on your own you realise that you no longer have to cook! I had gone from making four meals every day to two to one! And that one was an effort. I had realised that if I wanted to get back into my sport again then I would have to make sure I nourished my body properly – which I know I had not been doing! I wanted something quick and to know that I had my daily vitamins and minerals without having to think about it. Isagenix did that for me. They also have a stress tonic in Isasupreme. A shot of that every day, sometimes two, really helps! Of course, since I have moved in with Robert, and then joined by Anna – we take it in turns, but now back up to 3 meals once a day – Isagenix the rest.
I have had the pleasure in these last 6 months of also reaching out and helping other people who have been grieving. I did a radio interview with Women Today, which scared the poop out of me, but it was really good. More importantly, one of the people coming to me had heard me. Well worth the effort to find and support someone going through this process.